So, I'm thinking I'm maybe about ready to close off this blog-- not sure. In some ways it's served it's purpose of bearing witness to my journey this year. In another way, maybe I'd like to see it evolve and become the foundation of the new experiences I'm building....not sure yet.
In any event, here is the story....
HRH called me up in mid May, and suddenly, for the first time, there was no talk of me going back to H.El(l) There was not too much talk of me going places I wanted to go, but, I wasn't going back there. I felt like I had FINALLY gotten my pardon....
So--over the negotiations of the next few weeks, a position was found for me at a Middle School. Because I only wanted to go back part time, the District had the advantage (in that I was easier to place). In the end, I know I could have fought and demanded and insisted on all manner of things, but I realized that the Fight hadn't gone out of, I just wasn't interested in Doing Battle anymore. And--most importantly--I was done being a victim. I don't need anyone to *rescue* me, thank you. I will rescue myself. My position will be Math and Language Arts for Grade 7's, 60% (So I work on a continuous every-other-day pattern). It's not exactly what I was hoping for, but 2 things made me take the job--#1, it appeared magically overnight--I phoned the Prince to ask if there were going to be any opportunities at his site, and he said he didn't think so, certainly not in Grade 7....and then, the very next day, so there was. And #2--as I thought about it, the subjects and the site....I got that little warm wiggle in my belly that I have been waiting for for almost 2 years....the September Rush. So....even if I do end up leaving the field, NOW I know I will go because I choose to, having given my all, and leaving on my terms.
Or.....maybe I'll stay, and maybe find a whole new passion for my job.....er......my calling.
Thanks for checking in on me...I'm doing ok....
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6 comments:
I am so happy for you!
Here's hoping that this is a perfect fact for your skills & gifts.
FIT - Here's hoping that this is a perfect fit for your skills & gifts.
Sheeeesh.....
Heh! No penalties for typos in June!
BTW....is this Wig or Bitsy? :) Doesn't matter-- thanks for checking up on me.
No :)
But you're on the right track.
Take care. I'll 'see' you around.
I am so sorry to read about your life this past year. You were brave to confront it, deal with it, and now hopefully get past it. There is always that proverbial straw. As hard as it was to get to that point, you will probably live a healthier more productive life.
I think you will like middle school. I was tossed into it by chance afte 15 years with PK-3 (mostly 1st). After 20 years in MS I can honestly say I would never go back.
Aw--thanks Wiggy....I feel like I'm coming out the other side, now....finally. I'm sure you can figure it out, but obviously I wanted to hide this well, IRT anyone being able to clearly identify me or my school district. That is, anyone who would want to use it AGAINST me. I was a bit hesitant to connect this to my other nick, but at the end of the day? They can't hurt me any more, anyway! :)
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