Goooooooood MORNING SCHOOL DISTRICT ###!!!!

So, as part of the ongoing drama, my Salary Indemnity plan (which covers a part of my salary while I'm unable to work) has indicated that I should visit a Psychiatrist for a more formal assessment.

I have: biweekly GP appointments, biweekly counselling sessions and occasional check ups with the Rehab Worker. Now, I need a Psychiatric Work Up.

However....it was really interesting, and I was a bit surprised how much the Good Doctor was able to uncover in the hour we spent together. It turns out that she has treated a large number of teachers in the District, and it turns out that she has seen conditions like mine all too often. She told me a number of things about my situation, including the fact that not only was I suffering the early warning signs of burn-out, I was also in the throes of Post Traumatic Stress DIsorder.

Pardon ME? I know I wasn't in Viet Nam, and almost certainly would recall a Tour of Duty in Desert Storm...

But yes, she continued, that is exactly what my condition was--my treatment by the district, and in particular the Evil and Incompetent Chipmunk, was so grueling, it created an episode of PTSD, most likely by triggering some unresolved *issue* from my childhood that left me feeling powerless, worthless or stupid. Or all of the above.

She also said that a benchmark for me to know when I would be able to return to work would be when I could tell my story and talk about my experiences without tearing up, and when I felt some kind of excitement about the job again.

Gah.....I have a lot of work to do.

So I feel better, and worse. This black place in my soul was always present, but had I not been so viciously maltreated by my employer, it would have continued to lurk, waiting, to be drawn out.

Like attracts Like, I guess.

Now what? Stay tuned....

Yesterday a Storm was Raging

When I sat at my desk late this morning, the sun broke through, clear and bright, and still with significant heat, for Mid-November.

Yesterday, the rivers were raging, homes and roads and fields were flooded, the winds were howling, and the world looked hostile.

Today, I was reminded that storms always pass.....this one will too.

Welcome. This is my story, and I'm writing it from what I fancy may well be the eye of my storm.

I am a teacher, by profession, by nature, by choice. My love of my craft almost cost me my sanity, my self.

I hope in these words, you find something to take away.....